Friday, October 2, 2009

The last few days...

I have been away from the blog world for a few days due to a family emergency. I really want to keep this blog focused on books and my love for them but I need to release some of my thoughts on what has happened. Considering I just read and reviewed a memoir on a mother and son and their road to recovery, I feel it's strange timing.


My son tripped over my legs on Tuesday after lunch and twisted his leg on my sweatpants. I was kneeling on the floor cleaning up under his chair and he was climbing around behind me. Typical day but he tripped and twisted on the way down. I was unable to soothe him like I normally can and knew something was wrong. Frantic I called my husband and we rushed to Urgent Care after talking to a nurse. They fit us in with the Pediatrician and he did a wonderful job figuring out where his pain was. He had a small fracture in his femur. Not so big but very painful for a little babe. He sent us to another Specialty clinic to get another point of view and to be set up for a cast. Bad idea.
After 3 hours of waiting there, they realized they could not care for a toddler. He was too young. So then they sent us to Children's Hospital ER. ?
He had now had no nap, no snack, no drink and he was in pain. He and I were a absolute wreck and I channeled my best Shirley MacClaine and screamed "My Baby is in Pain, Why are we waiting so long?"

Finally we made it to Children's Hospital (a wonderful place where I had my open heart surgery a very long time ago). They were wonderful and caring and gave him food and pain relief and scheduled the casting for the next day. He was finally all smiles again, atleast for a little bit.

We spent the night in the ER and were then moved to Short Stay the next day and waited for the cast. We took more Xrays and found that there was indeed a fracture. No surgery, just a cast.

I felt like such an emotional wreck and the shittiest mom on the planet every time someone asked me what happened. I know they need to know and they have to do their job to ensure there is no abuse going on. I completely blame myself though I know in my head that it was an accident. I just keep replaying the trip over and over in my head. The doctors say "Share this story, do not hide it! You did nothing wrong. It was an accident. Everyone has had something like this happen either to them or someone they know."

He is now in a cast and bubbly and playing and doing just fine (please stay this way!). He has to be in this cast for 30 days. It's as if he is an infant again. My heart is so full and I am so fearful that something else will randomly happen that I am constantly on edge. I'm told this will subside. it's amazing how many stories come up when something like this happens. I think I heard atleast 20 stories of kids breaking their bones. I still feel shitty.

So keep us in your prayers. I have lots of help coming our way to keep everyone entertained and busy. Good thing he likes books. Maybe he can help me review. :)

Michelle
Red Headed Book Child

14 comments:

Mel (He Followed Me Home) said...

(((Hugs))
Been there, done that too. My older son cut his nose while I was cooking dinner & needed stitches..now he has a scar & I have a constant reminder. Mom's aren't super heros, try not to feel so bad :)

Karen said...

Oh, sweetie! I'm so sorry!! They're just so prone to the falls and accidents at this age. :(

I'll definitely keep your whole family in my prayers. I'm glad he's not in pain, but, oh, that cast is going to be no fun...

Lisa said...

Oh boy, your post couldn't have come at a better time. My 2.5 year old fell last May and split her forehead open, and now there is a lovely 3/4 inch scar right square in the middle of her forehead. She is from Ethiopia so she likely will never have "bangs" to cover it. Just this morning I was looking at it and reliving that horrible moment in the hospital when she was getting stitches and telling the story over and over and sobbing more than she was! Sending you HUGS from someone who has BEEN THERE!

CelticLady said...

I have been there also. I raised 4 children to adulthood and was on pins and needles the whole time waiting for something to happen..things did happen and they were ok. My oldest also spit her head open when about 5. Oh my gosh all the blood, scared me to death. I have had them swallow toys, choke on food,even one of the kids, every summer for about 3 years kept running into the same tree down the block, she still has scars on that knee and she is 27...So do not feel bad he will still love you...

Amy said...

I am so sorry! But remember that it was not your fault! My middled daughter is deaf and when she was about a year old we were getting Thanksgiving dinner ready. She was in her walker but she had snuck past Grandma and got in the kitchen. She burnt her hand on the front of the oven but She couldn't tell us what was wrong. I finally saw her hand and freaked! I went to Urgent Care(we have no hospital here) and they tried telling me I was at fault and was going to investigate! I couldn't believe they think I would hurt my daughter and then bring her in! I was pissed! Then to make matters worse when my youngest was crawling she got to close to the floor furnace and burned her fingers! I had to go back to that stupid urgent care and get the same lecture again! So see, accidents do happen and I deal with the guilt as well. Just be thankful that it wasn't more serious! Prayers for all of you!

Michelle (Red Headed Book Child) said...

Thank you all. I think this is why the doctor told me to share and not hide my story (feeling guilty and all). He knew that everyone has a story and it does help to know you are not the only one.

Many thanks to all of your kind words and for sharing your stories with me. I'll keep you all posted.

:)

Krista said...

I'm so sorry to hear he hurt himself and you had to go to the hospital! I hate hospital trips, awful!

It happens to the best of us, so don't worry yourself too much, he'll bounce right back. I have a one year old little girl(only child) and I haven't had anything major go wrong yet, but I'm sure in the future I'll make a mistake or two. We all do but it's no ones fault were just human...(Too bad were not superwomen, though..LOL)

I will definitely keep you guys in my prayers.

Ryan G said...

Boy, how I now how those days are. My son fell down the stairs last year and hit his head on the landing. It was one of the most horrifying moments of my life. Luckily he wasn't seriously hurt, he had a slight concusion and some massive bruising but I'm still thankful that it wasn't worse. I felt horrible for weeks though thinking I should have done something different. I was beating myself up a lot but some friends told me to calm down that no matter what you do your kids will get hurt. All you can do as the parent is try to ease the pain and let them know that they are loved and safe.

Ryan G said...

I have an award for you kiddo

http://wordsmithonia.blogspot.com/2009/10/awards-time-part-4.html

Amo said...

I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through this! I have a boy, too and we had to take him to the ER once with no nap, no bottle, no food, absolutely nothing! It was awful! The fact that he was hungry and tired made him even crankier!
Your son will bounce back better than ever! And so will you.

pixie13 said...

Sorry this happened to your little boy. Those ER trips are horrible all the way around, especially when your baby is so little. I've been on a couple of those I-Am-The-Worst-Mommy-In-The-Whole-World hospital visits myself. He'll heal & so will you. My prayers for you & your family & try not to be too hard on yourself.

Elena said...

Oh sounds like an awful night :( glad to hear your son's doing fine.

And accidents happen! I don't have kids, but when my sister was little, my mum was trying to change her clothes and accidentally dislocated her arm!! What's worse was my sister was going around telling everyone, including strangers "my Mummy broke me!"

Lisa said...

This could happen to anyone; he was right there with you and you had no reason to believe he was in any danger. In the true way of moms, he'll heal before you do!

Christine said...

Hi Michelle,
Sorry I'm only seeing this now, but I'm glad you shared your story, too. I can tell it helped you to blog about it and the doctors and all of these lovely commenters are right... you have nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. Easier said than done, I know. I'm a mom, too. These things happen and thankfully your adorable son is okay and healing well.